Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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