Umm I'm too high to move.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
