I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
