we're blogging at a bar
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
