How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
