Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
