I'm laying in your front yard are you home
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
