I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
