just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
