I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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