is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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