Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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