Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
