Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
