As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
