You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
