YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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