just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
