Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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