i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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