so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
