Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
