like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
