I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
