'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
