Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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