I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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