you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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