spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
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