AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
