that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
