It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
