dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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