We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
