handjob tips. give me some.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
