we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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