I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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