I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
