I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
