Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
