this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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