quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
