you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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