this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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