You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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