Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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