there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
