So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
