But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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