If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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