we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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