It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
