Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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