he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
