it's too hot outside to masturbate.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
