it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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