I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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