Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You can't just leave with hair like that
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
