remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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