What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
