I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize