just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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