So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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