I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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