did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
